


down with a sickness

by linatrinch



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sick Fic, flustered!Poe, sick!Finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 16:45:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13415421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linatrinch/pseuds/linatrinch
Summary: The flu's going around and Finn called in sick to work. Poe decides to ditch work and help Finn.





	down with a sickness

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic a few days ago because both of my parents were down with the flu and guess who had to look after them. Anyway, I wrote this before the illness started getting really bad and taking lives and everything. Admittedly, I didn't post it because I had no time to edit it, but when I did I also paused due to the timing.
> 
> That aside, America could probably use an illness related laugh and light topic right now, so here it is.
> 
> Wash your hands. Apply Purell liberally. Wear a mask if you have to. Keep warm. Try to eat. And please get the shot. Not that I'm following half of that advice but it can't hurt to repeat... Anyway, stay safe, readers!

Poe was over reacting. It was a thing he did rather often so he was familiar with what it felt like. Just a little niggling feeling beneath his breast plate that tickled his lung and said, 'What in the fuck do you think you're doing, asshole?'

“I don't know,” he muttered beneath his breath, driving through the light sleet with the radio off and a bag on the passenger seat, white knuckling the steering wheel. “I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.”

His problem with over reacting was that he only noticed he was doing it after the point of no return, which in this case was the twenty minute silent drive where he was left alone with nothing but his thoughts.

See. Okay. The thing is- The thing is that Finn was sick. Like, last week. Last Friday. Finn was sick last Friday. They had taken extra time off for New Years and gone back to work on Wednesday morning. And Finn had called in sick. Very sick, apparently, according to Leia's sympathetic tone on the one-sided phone call that Poe had over heard while walking down the hall to his office.

And- See, okay. He and Finn were friends. Good friends. Great friends, even. Well, work place friends, but they got along great and texted each other sometimes. Every now and then they got lunch together. And- Well, and... Poe had a- Well, he didn't have a _crush_. After you turned 30, you didn't have _crushes_ anymore. He had a- an _affection_. For Finn. A deep affection. A deep, long standing affection. A deep, long standing affection that had been going on for the past one and a half years. And lead him to turn down several offers for dates. And created more than a few fantasies. And made him a total mess around the other man. Seriously, he was a disaster, it was terrible. But it wasn't a crush. It was a- Um-

Poe let out a low sigh before his voice pitched a little higher. “ _I don't know._ ”

At least he wasn't panicking yet. That would set in soon.

Anyway, after hearing that Finn was still sick or had gotten worse or whatever, he quickly checked on the stuff he had to do (which was like five minutes worth of work since they only just got back in), begged to take the rest of the day off even if it was a stupid request (Leia raised an eyebrow and granted it anyway, sans pay), then practically flew to that bistro that Finn liked (which was across town and he was just grateful they were open and had that baked potato soup that Finn liked so much), before beginning the silent voyage to Finn's apartment. Which was twenty minutes away, in case he hadn't mentioned that yet. Twenty minutes was a long time to sit there and think.

He had been to his house maybe a few times (it was exactly four times, Poe knew the dates) but he had never shown up uninvited before. He could always maybe text Finn but he was both paranoid about texting while driving, as one should, and terrified that Finn would turn him down. Which, okay, if Finn turned him down halfway to his doorstep instead of _on_ his doorstep, that would probably be better, but he was already way too deep and okay maybe panic was starting to set in a little. It was just- It was flu season and it was really bad this year and even his dad got it and had to go in the hospital for half a day and everyone on the planet seemed to be contracting it somehow and what if Finn had the flu and was really sick and needed help but not Poe's help because he didn't want Poe's help because they weren't like that and Poe was going to be left out in the sleet with a probably leaking bucket of baked potato soup and frozen tears and half a day's pay-

He slapped his hands on the steering wheel and whined. “I don't _knooooow_.”

With that and one more deep breath, he pulled down Finn's road. Much too soon, he was pulling into the parking lot and right up into a parking space. Right. Okay. Game face time. One last deep breath. All he had to do was get out of the car, walk to Finn's door, knock, and let Finn or Jesus take the wheel from there. Just had to... get out of the car. Right now. Riiiight now. Okay, now... Now.

Another whine escaped his throat, and Poe nearly headbutted his steering wheel in frustration. Without letting himself think too hard about it, he dug around in his satchel until he got his phone out and hit Finn's face in his contact list. Usually, this would have been stressful enough but it was a relieving practice in this sort of situation.

Except the phone kept ringing. And eventually went to voicemail. And, okay, now he was worried. Making sure that Finn's car was in fact also in the parking lot, he grabbed the bag of food, _finally_ got out of the car, and started making his way up to the door.

Finn could very well be sleeping. Call in to work sick, one presumes you're going to sleep in as much as you can. But what if something was wrong? What if he was _really_ sick? What if he had gotten as sick or worse off than Poe's dad? If someone was there with him, surely they would have answered the call or hung up on him.

Oh, but wasn't that a thought? Poe's fist froze in front of the door, thinking about someone _with_ Finn. Like _with with_ Finn. That would be pretty distracting from catching a phone call, yeah. Surely if he was too sick to work then he was too sick for- for _that_. What if he called in just to get an extra day with them, though? What if they met on New Year's Eve? What if they had a New Year's kiss and got swept into the moment and was in the middle of their whirlwind romance that was only reserved for the young, bold, beautiful, lucky, and everyone except Poe?

He swept his hand over his face. “Oh God, I don't _know_.”

But what if something was wrong? What if he wasn't getting his mind blown by his true love, the Adonis and/or Aphrodite? What if he really was very sick? Or had hurt himself? Or- Or-

It would hurt _a lot_ to find Finn in quite the compromising situation with someone, but it would hurt a _hell of a lot more_ if something was wrong that Poe could have helped or prevented.

“Fuck, okay.” He knocked three hard times and waited. Poe chewed his lip and put his ear to the door, trying to listen for anything. But there was nothing to hear, so he knocked again. “Finn?” he asked rather loudly. “It's Poe!” Nothing. He didn't hear anything. And he was just paranoid enough to listen _really_ hard. Shit, shit, fuck, shit, fuck- “Finn!?” He knocked again, loud as he could, eyes darting back to Finn's Kia sitting in his usual spot. Mother fucking shit fuck-

He tried the doorknob, knowing that the place was going to be locked, but- The door opened.

_Oh holy fucking shit-_ Was this breaking and entering? Was he breaking and entering right now? It was trespassing, right? He was totally trespassing. Finn's going to kill him. He's going to call the cops and then he's going to kill him.

Okay. Okay. Fuck it. He couldn't turn back now. He wasn't about to close the door and leave. Go big or go home.

Poe cursed beneath his breath and opened the door a little wider, peering inside. No lights were on in the living room or kitchen except for something filtering down the hallway. “Finn,” he hissed, almost hoping no one would hear. He cleared his throat and tried to speak a little louder. “Finn?” Nothing.

Maybe he had hitched a ride with someone? And forgot to lock the door? Maybe someone brought him to a doctor? “I'm coming in,” he announced to the darkness, getting legitimately worried now.

Well, if Finn _wasn't_ home then Poe could leave and keep the whole visit to himself, no problem. If Finn _was_ home then this was either an incredible game of hide and seek or something was wrong. Oooor any of the other things that Poe was wracking his mind through was happening.

Okay, no, deep breath. Poe walked in and closed the door behind him, setting the food on the kitchen counter like he owned the place. “Finn?” he asked one more time before starting to look through the apartment without even taking his shoes and jacket off. He checked the living room, making sure that Finn wasn't passed out on the couch, before heading down the hallway. The bathroom door was open to more darkness, so that theory was shot down. The light came from the open bedroom door.

Right. Okay. This was probably about to be his worst nightmare come to life, but he could handle it. He was tough. _Hopefully_ , Finn wasn't hurt and Poe would be crying in a bucket of ice cream in an hour. “Finn?” But he was fairly sure that those types of activities required some sort of sounds unless this was the epitome of kinks-

Poe walked around the corner to find Finn passed out on the floor. All anxiety fled his mind as he rushed forward, falling to his knees beside Finn's prone body, making sure that, _yes_ , he was definitely still breathing. Poe shook his shoulder. “Finn! Hey, c'mon. Look at me, buddy. Finn?”

With a sputter and a groan, the object of his affections scrunched his face up in a far too adorable way than the circumstances called for and blearily opened his eyes. “Poe?” His speech was slurring, too, but it thankfully cleared up some as he kept talking. “Why are you-? Am I at work? I really shouldn't be at work right now.”

“You're not at work, buddy. I'm, uh-... Anyway,” Poe shuffled in place and put a hand to Finn's forehead, “you're burning up. You remember how you got down here?”

“Uhhh-” Finn glanced around the room, like the whole package was entirely new. “I missed the bed?” Apparently joking, he started to giggle which quickly turned into a hard cough which then turned into wheezing. “I'm sick.”

“I'd say.” Poe got one of Finn's arms around his shoulders and started trying to get him to sit up. “You need a doctor.”

Finn whined but allowed himself to be in a different position anyway. “No, I don't. I already went.”

“You did? When?”

He opened his mouth to answer, stared at the opposite wall, squinted his eyes, turned to stare at the window- “I-... This morning?”

Well, it was 9 a.m. but that was still sort of possible. “All right, let's get you vertical. You need anything? Bathroom? Food?”

“Sleep,” Finn mumbled, leaning all of his weight on Poe as they slowly stood. “Doctor said sleep.”

“What else did the doctor say?”

“Sleep,” Finn repeated and nearly fell in bed as Poe angled him in that direction. As it was, he sort of gently (and gracefully, how in the hell) shuffled into bed and kinda wiggled up to the pillows. It was fucking adorable. “Sleep and liquid and medicine,” he continued to mumble, snuggling in on top of the blankets, also fucking adorable.

Medicine! He had meds. Okay. “Where's the medicine?”

Finn lazily pointed down the hall without opening his eyes and basically transitioned straight into a light snore right there.

Yeah. Right. Okay. He can do this. Poe shuffled in place for a second before going back out into the hallway, trying to make a feeble list of things he had to do. He had to check Finn's temperature, that was a big one. Then try to shove meds down his throat, figure out how to lower his temperature, push some liquids and light food on him, let the poor guy sleep at some point- He couldn't ignore the fact that he just found his friend _passed out on the floor_ so he had to make sure everything was okay before allowing himself to panic.

After taking his jacket off and draping it over the back of a random chair, he searched through Finn's bathroom cabinets until he found a thermometer. Unfortunately, there was no medicine except for Flintstone vitamins (Poe was going to die over how cute that was) and neosporin. He made his way to the kitchen, hoping something would pop out and tell him where the meds were.

His sign appeared as a walgreens bag sitting innocently on the counter next to the fridge. This was probably twelve different kinds of violating privacy that Finn would address in detail once he was coherent again, but Poe opened and sifted through the contents anyway, digging through the receipts and stapled shut paper bags until he finally got to the medicines. In the middle of reading the directions for the first one (some sort of high dose steroid thing), he realized that these had been filled the day before.

Keeping _calm_ , Poe grabbed the medicines, thermometer, a filled glass of water, and hustled back to Finn's bedroom. Of course, he had to stop in the door way to watch Finn sleep for a second. The other man had made himself a little nest in the blankets since Poe's been gone, huddled into a little ball, and still snoring lightly. He should have expected a similar picture but he hadn't and now he was starting to overload- Poe took a deep breath and walked forward, putting the things in his arms down on the bedside table. “Finn? Buddy?” He allowed himself to gently touch the side of Finn's face to wake him.

Bleary eyes opened again to stare up at him, and Finn hummed.

Poe gulped. “You're not at work, bud, if that's what you're wondering.”

“Was wondering,” Finn admitted. “Where am I?”

“You're at home.”

“Home... How'd you get here?”

Poe darted his eyes around the room and grabbed up the thermometer. “Let's check your temp. Open wide.”

Finn obediently opened his mouth wide, and Poe had to... _stop_ for a second. At the- At that innuendo. And the implications. And the trusting way that Finn just _did_ that. And why was he freaking out over such a little thing? Fuck, he was a perv. He felt like a perv. Fuck, fuck- Poe had to stop himself from basically ramming the thermometer in there just to make his brain shut up, but he gently stuck the thing in Finn's mouth anyway. Finn, _of course_ , closed his eyes back and snuggled into the blankets again.

Before he could _think_ again, because that was a bad idea, Poe sat down on the edge of the bed and started looking through the medicines. “Okay, this one's some antibiotics. I guess for like sinuses and symptoms and stuff. Twice a day foooor... a week. Okay. This one's-... This one's something for the flu, I think. Supposed to make you better quicker or something. Twice a day. No problem. And this one is some _steroids_. There's only like five pills in here. Um, it says... once a day for five days. Okay. Okay, we can do that. You should probably have food with them, though. Um-” The thermometer went off, making Finn jerk awake with a groan. Because of course he slept through Poe monologuing.

He took the thermometer back and noted that Finn wasn't _quite_ in the danger zone. Either it had spiked earlier to make him pass out or- “When's the last time you ate anything?”

“Tis morning,” Finn mumbled into his pillow.

“Before you saw the doctor?”

He hummed an affirmative.

“Okay,” Poe stood and started rearranging Finn, trying to get him to sit up and stay awake for half a second. “I'm going to get some food, then you're going to eat, take those meds, and fall back asleep. Okay?”

Finn pouted as he was manhandled but sat up easily, leaning back against the pillows that Poe threw behind him. “I'm not hungry.”

“Not even for Bastian's famous fully loaded baked potato soup?”

There was a long pause, a stretch of silence that lasted until Poe began to wonder if Finn fell asleep with his eyes open, until the other finally said, “You're lying.”

“I am _not_ lying and am frankly offended that you would suggest such a thing,” he mocked, fussing with the blankets until he made himself stop. “I'm going to go get a bowl ready. You sit here, _don't_ fall asleep, and I'll be right back. Then meds. Then sleep.” Because a shower just seemed right out of the question. Before Finn could agree or disagree, Poe had backed himself out of the room , headed to the kitchen, and started preparing a bowl of food.

As he popped it in the microwave to warm it up a little more, he found that he had time to think and _really_ consider the situation he had just found himself in.Yes, he left work early, but that was a given. He also kinda basically broke into Finn's home. Which _broke_ is a rather strong word, but he did very much indeed break into Finn's home. Whether that was a good thing or not was yet to be seen, but he was still glad he did it after finding his friend like that. So. Broke into the apartment of the guy he had not been crushing on for the last year, manhandled him in his own bed, dug through his medicine cabinet, avoided questions about why he was there-

Poe took a few measured deep breaths. While the panic was just _there_ on the edge of his vision, he found that the reward outweighed the risk. Finn was very sick and needed help. If he didn't appreciate it when he was clear headed, then they would just cross that bridge when it came up. For now-... For now he would just... do what he could.

The microwave dinged and pulled him from his thoughts. He got all of Finn's food together and started making his way carefully back to the bedroom.

Finn was still awake, rubbing at his eye with a full fist like a kid, the now half empty glass of water in his other hand and tucked against his chest. It was all very adorable but there was the added effect of something warm in Poe's chest blooming outward and constricting his lungs...

Poe cleared his throat and stepped forward, arranging the food across Finn's lap and taking another seat on the bed. “You got it from here, buddy?”

Finn grumbled to himself, staring down at the bowl like he was legitimately intimidated by it. “I better.”

“You don't have to eat it all, so long as you eat some,” Poe continued. He didn't want to mother hen the other man to death, after all. In fact, he waited until Finn had a few bites of the soup before wondering aloud, “I gotta ask, buddy. Did anyone go to the doctor with you?” If he was half as bad off yesterday as he was today, then Finn really didn't need to be driving.

The other nodded at the question, gulping his food down as best he could. “Rey went with me,” he said in a hoarse voice.

Poe had met Rey several times and really adored the spirited young woman. He was also incredibly jealous of her but he knew how misplaced his feelings were. Despite his jealousy, he was rather fond of Rey. She must have gone to work, too, and left Finn to his own devices. He idly wondered what _her_ reaction to all this would be. While neither of them ever outright said it, it was pretty obvious that they had something together. Hence his jealousy. Which was entirely unwarranted. They were good for each other. And she was better for Finn than Poe would be. He had far too many hang ups.

While he thought on all this, thought on how desperately out of his league this whole romanticized ideal was, Poe chewed on his lower lip and watched Finn eat. He needed to text Rey.

His melancholic musings were cut short by Finn grumbling again. “I don't think I can eat anymore.” He hadn't even finished half the bowl.

“That's okay,” Poe said instead, opting to feed Finn a little more later, too. Maybe that would be better in the long run? He wasn't sure. Whatever the _right_ course of action was, he took Finn's food away to put it on the bedside table before sifting through and dividing up the medicines. “All right,” he sighed, handing the other man the pills he had dug out. “Take these. You have enough water?”

Finn nodded and started to gulp them down.

Poe took that as a moment he had to finally text Rey. They had exchanged numbers some time ago, both of them fascinated with aeronautic crap enough to gush about it, plus she seemed to like having him on hand to ask advice whenever she ran into trouble of the machinery sort. Poe just hoped he wasn't losing _two_ friends today.

_It's kind of a long story but I'm hanging out with Finn and he's really sick. Like absolutely out of it sick. He's gotten fed and took the prescribed medicine. Is there anything important the doctor said that I should know about? When I asked, he just kept repeating that he had to go to sleep..._

Poe set the phone down after sending the message only to notice that Finn was done, too. He took the now empty glass away and set it on the table. “How you feel?”

“Can I go back to sleep now?” Finn asked tiredly and a little grumpy.

Poe couldn't help the chuckle. “Yeah, buddy. You can go to sleep.” If he wasn't here to wake him up in time for his next dose, Poe was at least adamant to make sure someone was. Almost like someone read his mind, his phone went off again. A glance told him that it was from Rey. That was quick.

Finn snuggled into the blankets as Poe opened the text. “Will you stay?”

“Yeah,” he answered absently, sort of listening but mostly reading, maneuvering himself to lean back against the headboard.. “I'll stay.”

_Oh, wash your hands! Doctor said he had the flu and is crazy contagious. I'm so glad you visited, though. He hadn't answered his phone, and I was starting to get worried. Doc said that he needed plenty of rest and liquids. And yeah, he was really loopy yesterday. Doesn't take well to illness, poor guy, but I don't think the cough is as bad. He might start getting a bit honest, so prepare yourself, Dameron! :P Oh and there's left over chicken soup in the fridge._

Poe was just rereading the _prepare yourself_ part of the text, wondering what all he had missed the day before, when a weight settled over his lap. He looked down to find Finn's arm around his waist.

Finn cuddled up against Poe's thigh and let out a contented sigh. “Thanks, babe,” he muttered. “Love you so much.”

Poe's heart stopped. Not metaphorically either. It full on stopped. He stared down at Finn, who was now blissfully asleep, as he attempted to breathe.

Finn was loopy, Poe reminded himself. He was saying weird things, didn't know what day it was, was confused on where his location. He didn't mean that. He probably didn't even know who he was talking to. He probably thought that Poe was Rey. Hell, he probably thought that Poe was a unicorn. It didn't mean anything.

Poe gulped.

Didn't mean anything.

He white knuckled the phone and stared down at Finn with wide eyes as the other beautifully and peacefully slept.

* * *

Finn woke up freezing. He realized that he was freezing because he was soaking wet. Feeling entirely too weak to really investigate, he pulled the one thing in the bed that felt remotely warm close to him, burying his face in it a bit. It smelled like Poe and that was nice.

Poe had a distinct smell to him. It wasn't overpowering or anything, more like underneath everything else. Like it was the scent of his shampoo rather than his cologne. Finn knew it well. It was barely hinted at in his office or even in his home, which he had been to a couple of times. No, it was mostly present when they hugged, and Poe was a hugger. Not that Finn complained. He looked forward to them in fact.

But how did Poe's smell get in his bed, though?

Finn blinked his eyes open and looked around to take everything in. First he noticed that his pajamas _were_ soaked and that it must have been because of the fever because, that's right, he was sick. The second thing he noticed was- was Poe.

The other man was still sitting against the headboard of Finn's bed but his head had lulled forward and was now fast asleep. That's right. He had shown up. Finn didn't know _how_ but he had just shown up out of the clear blue yonder like a damn angel or something. (This was a theory that Finn had yet to disprove so it was still a formidable hypothesis.) He had tucked Finn into bed, made him something to eat, given him his meds... Right.

Finn stared up at him, watching as his eyes roved behind his closed eyelids and lips lightly twitched. He had beautiful lips. Finn was well aware. It was now a mantra in his head to not stare sometimes. It was hard not to stare at Poe. At his lips or his eyes or his everything. He was just a beautiful person, outside and in. And now he was here. With _Finn_. Like _this_.

Before he could think through his actions, his body started following through with the sudden daydream that had popped into his head. Finn leaned himself up on his arms, zapping all of his strength in that one motion alone, and moved forward until he could feel Poe's lips against his own. He had been thinking about it for some time now. What Poe felt like. What Poe tasted like. He brushed against Poe's bottom lip, feeling a very small and possibly imagined reaction, and pulled away. The other man didn't wake up, but his face had changed from tense to something more serene. It made Finn's face flush. Or maybe that was the fever?

Wait, the fever. Wait- _Wait!_

Like a bolt of lighting had zapped him through his bedroom window, Finn remembered that he had the damn _flu_ and the doctor said the words _highly contagious_ several times. He didn't want anyone else to go through the hell he had been through over the last few days, yet he chose _now_ to kiss his crush. Yes, that was a great way to show how much you care, Finn. _Give your crush the flu._

In a panic, without knowing what to do and knowing that this was probably an idea born from the fever because it didn't _sound_ too great but he had to try _something_ , Finn picked up the edge of the sheet and tried to rub his cooties off of Poe's lips.

Predictably, the other man sputtered awake, a sheet half stuffed in his mouth as he stared down with wide eyes back at Finn.

“I-!” What did he say? What could he say? What _should_ he say? “You fell asleep and you're gonna get sick and I was trying to make sure you didn't get sick and I don't know what I was thinking-!” Well, stuffing a germ infested sheet in his mouth probably _didn't help_ in hindsight.

“Finn! Finn. Buddy.” Poe had fixed himself up at some point during Finn's panicked excuse and waved at him with a calming smile. “It's okay, it's- I shouldn't have-” At that he erupted into giggles. “A sheet, though? Really?”

“I'm sorry!” Finn whined, burying himself further in the bed. “I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want you to get sick and now you're totally gonna get sick.” He couldn't exactly talk about the real reason why, though.

Poe's laughing basically went up in smoke when he realized there was some real distress going on and he stood. “Finn, no, it's okay. I- I mean- I never should have fallen asleep here anyway. I'm really sorry. It's all my fault. If I get sick, then that's just payback, right?”

“But I don't want you to get sick,” he whined back, only poking his eyes out of the blankets he'd bundled himself in. “You didn't do anything wrong.”

The other grimaced, looking guilty even as he tried to fight off one of those heart meltingly warm smiles he reserved for Finn sometimes, and glanced to the door then the table. “Look, your speech isn't slurring anymore and you're talking with... some sense now. More sense than before anyway. Let's check your temp again.”

Finn waited until Poe took out and reset the thermometer before opening his mouth for it. He missed the look that crossed the other's face again as the device was put under his tongue. While waiting for it to ding, he sulked. His crush comes by and takes care of him so he makes the poor man sick? C'mon, really?

The universe had it out for him.

It wasn't a very well kept secret that Finn had a thing for Poe, nor was it that Poe had a thing right back for Finn. He had known about Poe's feelings for him for months. The hugging, the laughing, the talks they shared. It was mostly in his eyes, though. Poe couldn't keep any emotion free from his eyes. Windows to the soul, indeed. And Finn wanted just as badly as Poe's eyes said that he wanted, too.

But he had been terrified. Poe was older than him by nearly a decade, owned his own home, honorable discharge out of the Marines, basically had his life together. Finn couldn't really compete with that. What if they got closer and they both realized how foolish of an idea that had been? He had been scared that getting with Poe would just be the beginning of the end.

Rey had stomped down on that kind of talk and had been a constant cheerleader in trying to get Finn to open up and tell his crush how he felt. He had resolved to do it, to just get it over with, to finally be brave and _say it_. Waiting for Poe wasn't yielding results anyway. And though he _had_ to know how Finn felt (he was ridiculously obvious about it) and still hadn't done anything, Finn was still willing to try.

He had it all planned out. New Year's Eve, kiss at midnight, the whole shebang. Finn would confess how he felt and what he wanted, _pray_ that Poe was on board, and they would kiss to ring in a new year of entirely new beginnings.

But then he got sick. He had fought the illness tooth and nail, stubbornly refusing the fact that he had gotten the flu until it was basically too late. New Years had come and gone. He and Poe were just as separated as ever.

Now Poe was here, taking care of him, and was going to get sick because of him. This was it. He had lost his chance now for sure.

The thermometer dinged, and Poe took it from him, glancing at it long enough to give a little smile. “Fever must have broke while you were sleeping,” he said, putting it back on the table. “It'll probably come back again, but that's good for now. Don't look so sad about it. Do you hurt? If you don't, probably be a good time for a shower. You'll rest better.”

Finn shook his head, realizing that his frown must have been pretty pronounced for Poe to say something despite keeping a little smile. That _same_ little smile he always had for Finn. That wasn't fair. “Did you take your shot?”

“I did,” Poe lightly chuckled.

“You still might get it.”

“Might,” he agreed, roving a hand over Finn's tight curls. “I heard it's not as bad if you have the shot, though. I'm serious. Don't worry about it.” That really didn't make him _stop_ worrying, and now Poe was frowning, too, darting his eyes from the table to Finn to the doorway. “It's my fault, all right? I shouldn't have fallen asleep in- in your _bed_. I shouldn't even be here.” He gulped and said very quickly, “Finn, I kinda broke in.” Poe only paused long enough for him to blink and stare up at him before words were tumbling out of his mouth. “I- I heard you were still sick, so I thought I'd come by and check on you but no one answered and the door was unlocked and I just- I just- I _walked in!_ I just walked in! I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I was totally invading. I was trespassing, even! I overstepped. I'm really sorry. I texted Rey. She said she's coming when she gets off of work, and I- I should really go. I mean, you're fine. You're fine now. You're awake. You're talking. I'm still in your room. I'm _still_ talking. I went through your medicine cabinet, for pity's sake! I'm just gonna go. There's more soup in the kitchen and I- I should- Rey should be here soon.”

“Poe.”

The other man froze half way across the room, having backed up inch by inch as he was talking. Finn had sat up in bed, watching the one-sided conversation spiral out of control. “Don't go.” Poe just stood there, staring back at him wide eyes. “I mean... you fed me. You gave me my meds. I think I was on the floor at some point? Honestly, I'm not even sure what day it-” He was cut off by another coughing fit. It hit sudden and hard and his lungs burned and- _Not the time!_

It apparently did the job better than he could, though, because Poe was suddenly beside him and patting his back gently. “Sorry, sorry,” Poe repeated with every cough. “I'll stay. I'm sorry. I'll stay.” Oh great, now the pity parade was here. But just as his breathing was back under control, Poe had mumbled something about water and took off with his empty glass.

This _sucked_.

Finn groaned and leaned back in bed, taking shallow breaths and trying to figure out how he could possibly rectify this. He didn't want Poe to leave. He wanted to tell him that he was grateful and humbled by all of the attention, touched about the whole thing even.

If only he didn't feel like absolute utter _crap_.

Poe hurriedly shuffled back into the room, handing the water over and waiting by the bed. Staring. Ringing his hands.

Finn took a few well-needed sips – his mouth and throat felt like the actual desert – before he finally felt like he could talk. “Poe, sit. Please.” The other man paused before practically falling into the bed upon request. He was biting his lip again, something that was a nervous habit with him, and had gone completely silent. Finn was going to try to make the most of it. “I'm glad you're here.” He waited for a response and got nothing except for Poe to stare blankly back at him. “I'm glad you came by to check on me. I'm glad you stayed. I'm glad you helped me. _Thank you_ , Poe. Let me feel a little bad about possibly getting you sick, okay?”

He seemed to think that over but at least the fretting and fidgeting stopped. He glanced down to the bed and back up to Finn with those shy eyes that he loved _so_ much. “I figured you feel bad enough, you know?”

Though Finn smiled back at him, hoping that whole issue was over with and behind them, he couldn't help but remember that kiss he stole. He shouldn't have done that. And he did feel a little guilty. But not enough... He sighed. “Wanna help me walk to the bathroom? I'm a little dizzy.”

“Yes,” Poe answered as he quickly stood again. “You sure about a shower?”

While the idea to ask Poe to join him did run around his mind with an airhorn for half a second, he just smiled back. “Yeah, I'm sure,” Finn answered, standing up while putting some of his weight on Poe's offered shoulder, happy that the room only tilted a little bit. “I'm tough. I can handle it.”

“I know you can, buddy.”

* * *

Poe was listening way too hard to Finn moving around the bathroom. Granted, he had planted himself on the living room couch and couldn't hear _everything_ so it wasn't totally creepy. Regardless, he was listening so hard, that he managed to jump out of his skin when the front door suddenly opened. With a quick whip around of his head – ow – he spied Rey standing apologetic in the doorway.

“Sorry,” she hissed. “I didn't know you were still here. And Finn still hasn't gotten maintenance to fix his lock, I see.”

Um. Poe blinked. “His lock's broken?”

“Yeah. He mentioned something about a freeze right before New Years? I don't know... You all right?”

Poe was just trying to not think through all of the ethical ramifications of still coming into the apartment anyway (because the door's lock being broken didn't make it better) and slightly terrified that Finn was left alone and vulnerable with nothing between him and the disgusting outside world other than a door that didn't even work right- “I'm good, yeah.” Poe cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter. “He's a, um- He's taking a shower. Cleaning up. I think.”

“Oh, he must be feeling much better then,” she answered back, taking her jacket off to put next to his on a chair. “I had to leave him last night. I should have thought to tell you or someone to come and check. I'm _so_ glad you did.”

“It's... not a problem.” Poe felt his face flush a little as he wiggled down into his seat, totally not trying to hide. Now that Rey was here, he was theoretically free to leave. He just... didn't want to. At least, not without saying goodbye to Finn. Yet the apartment seemed to become more and more awkward by the second.

Rey walked back around the couch and sat down at the other end. “So...” She sat there and stared at him while he stared sheepishly back. Eventually, she shook her head slowly. “Did he... say... anything?”

“Nope,” Poe answered, feeling himself turn a few shades redder. “No, he- he didn't- I don't even know what you're talking about it. He didn't say anything.”

“What did he say?”

“He was just- you know- loopy. He was loopy. Not thinking right. Just talked about the- the doctor. He talked about the doctor.”

“Poe.”

Rey had a knack for doing this thing where she could stare into a person's soul and see their deepest and darkest secrets. Poe just stared back, totally not sweating or anything. “Nothing happened.”

She gave a slow, sly grin. “What did he say?”

He couldn't tell her. He could _not_ tell her.

Then a different voice, a little strained, a little weaker, said his name from down the hall. “Poe?”

He could have broken his neck by turning around so fast and practically vaulted over the couch to get to Finn. The man himself was standing in the doorway to the bathroom, leaning against the wall and looking tired. “What's wrong, buddy? Are you-?” And all he had on was a towel. Poe couldn't help it- he couldn't _stop_ it. His eyes roamed down Finn's chest and stomach, stopping where the towel began. As much as he _desperately_ tried to play it cool and continue the conversation, the words had jammed themselves together somewhere in his lower chest, thoughts leaving his mind entirely. At the same time, a piece of himself was panicking to get it together before anyone noticed but everyone _had_ to notice-

“I forgot my clothes,” Finn replied miserably, not actually seeming to notice.

Poe perked up. “Clothes! Clothes. Okay. Okay, clothes. I can do that. Clothes.” He kept mumbling as he ran back to Finn's room, preparing himself to feel terrible later about digging through his dressers but resolving that he could just feel bad if it meant doing what Finn asked.

By the time he found boxers ( _don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it_ ), sweat pants, and an over sized t-shirt that looked comfortable enough, Rey was helping Finn into the room and back on his bed. “Are you hungry? When did you last eat?”

“Dunno,” he answered, rubbing at his eyes again and coughing for a second. “Not hungry.”

“The last time you ate was this morning,” Poe answered, walking back with his bundle of clothes. “You remember? The soup?”

Finn blinked up and squinted at him. “Oh yeah.”

“Well,” Rey sighed, “it's getting a little late, so I'm going to fix you some more food to eat. Poe, why don't you help him get in those clothes?” Poe sent her the most terrified death glare he could manage as she walked out of the room. “And maybe you should talk a little, boys.”

He... had _no idea_ where to go from this point. Thankfully, Finn brought him out of it with a little laugh that was beneath his breath to probably prevent a coughing fit. “Don't worry about Rey. She's just weird. I can handle the clothes, Poe.”

“Oh, okay,” he said as they were taken from his hands. “I'll just- I'll-” Not knowing what else to do, he just turned his back to Finn to give a little privacy without leaving in case he was actually needed. “Sorry. Should I go? I-”

“No, you're okay,” Finn answered, shuffling around behind him. “Thanks for finding them.”

“No problem.”

“What did Rey want us to talk about?”

Poe flinched. “Um- I don't- I'm not- Nothing really happened. You were loopy. It's fine-” A hand pressed against his shoulder.

He turned around to find a still shirtless though mostly clothed Finn, balancing more or less on one leg and smiling. “Sorry. Almost lost my balance,” he said before righting himself. “Did I say something weird before?”

“No,” Poe answered too quickly. “No, no. I mean, I think you just thought I was someone else, that's all. It wasn't weird.”

“What did I say?”

As he stared up into Finn's slightly vulnerable, a bit puffy, and very endearing eyes, he realized that he'd done cocked up pretty darn well just then. Holy _shit_ , this was a fuck up. He had dug his hole. It was done. It was all over. He was screwed. All of his fantasies were screwed. Done. Over. Gone. Fucked. “Well-” He stopped to clear his throat, finding his voice to be several octaves too high. And oh no, he could feel his ears burning. “Well, you like-” Play it cool, Dameron. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to pretend it was no big deal and wondering if he was getting away with it. “You called me, um... _babe_ and said that you- that you, um-... you, uh- Well, you said you _loved_ me but like you didn't know it was _me_ me. You probably thought I was the Lucky Charms guy for all I know. It's not a big deal. We don't have to make it a big deal. I wasn't even going to say anything. Cause it's not a big deal. That's how little of a deal it is. Not a big one.” _Shut. Up_. Poe snapped his mouth shut and let the room fall silent.

It took a _long_ moment before Finn breathed out, “Oh, I did. Didn't I?” He was smiling to himself before he sobered and looked back up to Poe. “I guess this is as good as time as any, and your health is probably on the line here, but I kissed you earlier.”

Poe blinked, not at all processing that. What? “Huh?”

“You were asleep?” Finn asked, looking a little afraid and glancing around. “And I don't know- I was weird and loopy and not thinking and you were just there and I wanted to do that for so long so I _did_ but then I remembered that I'm sick and- Anyway, that's why you woke up with a sheet stuffed in your mouth.” Poe stared back at him, nothing actually filtering out of that. “Are you mad?” Finn asked, still looking worried. “I could understand if you would be. I mean, I'm _sick_ and you were sleeping. Not the best time.”

“You-” Oh, he could make words. “You... kissed...?”

“This probably isn't the best time to say that I've had a crush on you for awhile either,” Finn continued. Poe licked his lips, trying desperately to remember what that kiss was like. “Look, I'm sorry. I wasn't myself. I was planning to do _something_ with you on New Years, but that fell through and I felt bad that I didn't take that shot, so- I don't know. I'm-”

Poe lunged forward and kissed Finn as hard as he could, body singing, mind gone, relishing the moment for all it was worth.

Until Finn grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him back. “Poe, I'm infected!”

A squeak came from the doorway, which was apparently Rey balancing a tray with another bowl of soup. “Oh, don't mind me.”

Finn blinked at her then back to Poe. “You. You need to disinfect... _all of you_. And you-” He pointed to Rey. “-why aren't you wearing a mask? We talked about this.”

“Poe isn't,” she defended, stepping forward to toss a bottle of anti-bacterial gel in Poe's hands as she herded Finn to bed. “C'mon. You eat, medicate, sleep, and confess your love later.”

That just left Poe squeezing the bottle like a stress ball. “Oh my God,” he finally said out loud. “Oh my God, Finn, I just- I did- Oh God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean- I wasn't- I didn't think. I didn't think at all. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have- I should go. I'm still here. Why am I still here? What am I doing? Why did I do that?”

“Poe,” Finn sighed, letting Rey put into bed. “I really want to talk about it but I also feel like I might catch on fire any second, so let's all just chill and think happy thoughts, okay?”

“Happy thoughts?” he squeaked back.

Finn just chuckled as Rey put the bowl in his lap. “Yeah, like I like you and you like me. That's a happy thought, right?”

He stared back at Finn. Beautiful, smart, _I like you and you like me_ Finn. “Yeah,” he breathed.

Rey huffed. “Well, this is all adorable and a bit awkward. You two talk about it later maybe?”

“Yeah,” Poe sighed again and began pouring way too much Purell on his hands.

Between Poe and Rey, it took another two days for Finn to get over the flu then another five for Poe to get over it, too. Rey seemed to dodge that bullet. Probably because she didn't have the urge to kiss Finn every five seconds. But after they were both healthy again, there was some talking and a lot of celebrating.

**Author's Note:**

> Another pro-tip: don't kiss your crush while you have a fever.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading!


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